she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
