They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
