Got a toothbrush?
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
