I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
