She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
