I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
