I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
