I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
