miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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