I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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