I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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