new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I party with great urgency now.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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