You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Terrible idea I love it
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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