Porn is love you can see.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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