grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
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