Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
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