her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
