don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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