just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Why is your signature on my underwear?
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
