Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
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