Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Randomize
