Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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