I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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