I faked an abortion last night.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Randomize
