oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Are my feet made of real feet?
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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