You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
