he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
