there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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