I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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