So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
