I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
