If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
