I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
