you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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