Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
