dude i'm inner monologue high
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
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