Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
