I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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