All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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