I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Randomize
