you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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