I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
