Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
