Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
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