I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
