her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
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