ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
