Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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