So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize