i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize