ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I need water and some morals
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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