he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
