I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
