i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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