I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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