Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
