i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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