i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
