you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
