awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
He shit in the fireplace
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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