You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
