Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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