He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Randomize
