Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
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