mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
