Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize