I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
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