I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
