after a month anything with tits is on the radar
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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