He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
